


birth

by reylotrash (freedomatsea)



Series: Star Wars Universe Pieces [5]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Also part of it could be conceived as mildly dubious to some, F/M, Impregnation, Sex, Strange crack AU that became an actual plot?, living in the trash compactor where they ain't cousins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 08:56:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5822395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freedomatsea/pseuds/reylotrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One year after the final act of TFA Rey concocts a plan to infiltrate the new Starkiller Base as a new hire in mechanics. There she meets Matt, who has just been hired as well. Unbeknownst to her Kylo Ren has concealed his identity to intercept her operation. But neither one of them are prepared for the large plan at play. [mildly crack, but also plot driven]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [starzangelus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starzangelus/gifts).



> Just suspend all reason and enjoy. Honestly this started as pure crack after a weird dream and somehow became an actual fic with plot.

It was _never_ supposed to be like this. Admittedly, the plan had been somewhat convoluted, but at its core it had all the potential in the world. Even Snoke had approved of the plan, despite General Hux’s adamant protests that Kylo Ren would _fail._ Just as he always did when _she_ was involved. Kylo had been so thankful that his mask concealed his expression. Hux had a point, the girl did have a way of distracting him. And he knew it was written all over his face.

She had some audacity to take a job with the First Order to infiltrate them. Anyone with sense would have seen that it was a death sentence in the making. But there she was. Foolhardy. Neither of them had seen what was coming, neither of them had been prepared for how life changing their plans could be.

Rey especially.

“Lord Ren, here is the fugitive, as you requested.”

Kylo didn’t turn around. He could hear the way her shoes scuffled against the ground in an attempt to fight off the Trooper’s hold. He could _feel_ her. Fear coursed through her. In all the weeks and months he’d spent close to her, he hadn’t felt fear. He’d only felt the steady flow of adoration and contentment. Now as he stood before as Kylo Ren – she _feared_ him. He hated it.

“What do you want from me?” Rey spat out as the door slid closed behind them. “How long have you known I was here beneath your nose?”

Slowly he turned to face her, hiding beneath his helmet. “I’ve known since you arrived.”

Rey’s hand passed in front of her stomach as she stood up straighter, levelling him with a challenging look. “Why _now_?”

“Because,” He started, letting out a heavy breath as he removed his helmet. Kylo stared at the floor, afraid to meet her eyes as he revealed to her the truth. He knew deep down that she would be disgusted in him, that this would push her to loathe him even more than she already did. He hated himself. “I didn’t want the mother of my unborn child to continue working in such a dangerous environment.” He lifted his eyes to watch her reaction.

The look on her face was one that would haunt him for the rest of his life. Fear changed to repulsion, her sun-kissed skin turning pale as the shock lanced through her. “No. _No_. You used me.” She hissed out, her fists balling at her sides. “How _dare_ you. Was this some sort of sick game to you? To change your appearances, conceal your identity, and _impregnate_ me?”  

“Rey please.” Kylo let his helmet drop to the ground as he stepped towards her, but she stumbled backwards, keeping the space between them. “When we were alerted to your presence, General Hux would have had you killed on sight. He was _determined_ to destroy you –”

“I would have _preferred_ that to my current situation.” Rey gritted out through clenched teeth. “And what? Did you concoct some plan to psychologically destroy me?”

Kylo shook his head adamantly. “No. This was _never_ the plan, Rey.” His lips trembled, his words coming out no louder than a whisper. “The plan was to trick you into trusting Matt, the lowly mechanic. I was supposed to gather intel from you. To learn the plans of The Resistance. But instead I…” _No_. He wasn’t going to use that word for this. “I tried to tell you Rey.” His eyes dropped to her stomach, swollen with his child.

Rey held her hands up to keep him from saying anymore. “I should have known.” Her lashes fluttered as she stared at him. The disgust was still written all over her face. She hated him. And that might never change. “How did you hide the scar?”

Kylo lifted his hand to touch the crooked scar that marred one half of his face. “The Force. A simple trick of the mind. I was able to make you not see it.” His shoulders sagged. “I was distracted when it came to the other scars.”

Rey’s eyes flickered down to his waist, focusing on a point where Chewie had shot him. “I should have realized then.”

“We were both caught up in the moment.”

Hesitantly she took a few steps forward, “Was _all_ of it a game to you Kylo?” Her brows pinched together as she searched his face. “Did I allow myself to be so deeply deceived?”

“No. It wasn’t a game to me. At first it _was_ , but then… I stopped reporting what I had learned. I stopped caring what you divulged to me. It became _ours_ and no one else’s. It was just us.”

Rey laughed harshly. “There is _no_ us.”

Kylo clenched his eyes closed, as though her words had struck him across the face. “I know.” This time he took the step backwards, putting distance between them. “There was Rey and _Matt_.”

“ _Exactly_.” Rey took another step forward. “What’s your plan now Kylo? Are you going to let General Hux finish with his plan? Interrogate me for the information you didn’t get out of me willingly?” Her fear had turned to anger, a sensation he was all too familiar with. It drifted in the currents between them, making him feel dizzy.

“ _No_.” Kylo whispered. “I’ll go before the Supreme Leader… I’ll admit what I’ve done wrong and how I failed the mission. But I will _not_ let anyone hurt you Rey.”  He met her eyes, holding her gaze for a long moment. “And I am sorry that I betrayed you.”

Rey shook her head. “You can only betray someone who trusted you. I _never_ trusted Kylo Ren.”

Kylo swallowed thickly. “You do understand that you won’t be allowed to leave, right?” He shifted his weight from his heels to the balls of his feet and back. “You know too much about the base to leave and I refuse to allow any harm to come to you or _ou_ – your baby.”

“I’m a prisoner then?”

“A guest.”

She rolled her eyes. “Hardly.”

“Consider my quarters your own.” Kylo suggested, gesturing around the room. 

“These are your quarters?” Rey questioned as she looked around, her lips pressed into a thin frown. “I don’t know why I’m surprised that this is where you call home. It’s completely devoid of life. It’s cold and stale.” She laughed a little. “Even I was able to make my miniscule quarters look like a home here.”

“I know. You were able to make a barren room feel so _warm_.” Kylo reached out to touch her but she stepped away from him to inspect the room. At least that’s what he told himself. “You can have the bed. I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“How nice of you.” She retorted bitterly, her hands going to her hips. “I’m tired.”

“Rest.” Kylo said quietly, moving to pick up his helmet, tucking it under his arm. “I need to go and speak to Snoke.” He kept his gaze adverted as he walked past her for the door. He hesitated, glancing back at her. “It was never supposed to come to this Rey. Please believe that.”

Rey sat down on the edge of his bed, her hand resting on her rounded belly. “I can believe that. Because somehow I don’t see you as the sort of man who _wants_ a baby from his enemy.” She gave him a sarcastic smile.

Kylo clenched his fists. “No. I’m not.” He gritted out, before turning to leave the room. Somehow he had a way of always ruining _everything_ he touched.

 

**Six Months Prior**

 

Rey straightened her coveralls as she approached the mechanic’s station. General Organa had been convinced that this plan of hers was destined to be a failure from the start. But against the odds, infiltrating the First Order as an overly optimistic mechanic had been easier than expected. Clearly the people in charge had learned nothing in the past year. The Resistance _could_ be a step ahead of them and right under their noses and they’d be none-the-wiser.

It was amusing.

“Are you Uho?” Rey questioned as she stepped into the station.

“No.” The man answered, shifting nervously. “The name’s Matt. It’s my first day.”

Rey flashed him a kind smile, extending her hand. “I’m Rey.” Her brows knit together for a brief moment as she studied the man who was just _staring_ at her outstretched hand. “Typically most people shake the other person’s hand.”

“ _Right_.” Quickly the blond haired man – Matt – took her hand in his and shook it.

“First day jitters?” Rey questioned, crossing her arms across her chest then, still smiling. “I know the feeling. Definitely never imagined myself working for the First Order.”

Matt nodded his head, tucking his hands into his pockets. He was clearly a man of few words, which was a little disconcerting to Rey. She was used to Finn and Poe who were always talking, always trying to one-up one another, which led to a lot of loud conversations and laughter. If _this_ was what she was going to be working with, she was _really_ going to be deserving of a hero’s metal when she got back to base.

“Were you ever on Jakku?” Rey questioned, squinting a little as she looked him over. Something about him seemed familiar, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

Matt was quick to answer. “I would never set foot on that planet. I hate the sand.” He eyed her for only a few seconds as he pushed his glasses back up his nose.

Rey pressed her lips together as she nodded. “It is pretty awful stuff.” She agreed, her next string of conversation cut short as Uho – the commanding officer of the mechanic division, stepped into the station.

“I assume the pair of you are Rey and Matt?” He questioned as he glanced down at the clipboard in his hand. “Rey, you listed yourself as an advanced mechanic?” The man arched a brow. “Matt here has limited knowledge, unfortunately your first task of the day will be helping him get acquainted with what it takes to repair TIE fighters.”

“Understood.” Rey nodded, side eyeing Matt. “I’m pretty adaptable. I’ve never actually done mechanical work on a TIE fighter, I’ve only seen bits of them scattered after a battle.”

Uho narrowed his eyes. “After a battle?”

Rey’s heart was pounding harder then. That probably sounded incredibly suspicious.

Matt cleared his throat. “That’s about as much as I know about TIE fighters myself. I’ve noticed that few come back from missions. Perhaps General Hux should train more experienced pilots that won’t crash half the fleet each mission.”

Her eyes widened as she looked at the man beside her. “You’re going to get yourself killed if you talk like that.” She told him incredulously.

“I apologize.” He seemed to shrink into himself then, bowing his head. “I hate to see good ships put to waste.”

“The girl’s got a point, lad.” Uho said, setting his clipboard down on the work bench. “Next thing you know, Hux will brainwash you like the rest of the Stormtroopers and send you off on some suicide mission.”

“Which way to the garage bay?” Rey questioned before Matt had a chance to make an ass of himself. He seemed _incredibly_ awkward, which had an endearing quality about it, but he also seemed a little odd too. Was that how socially awkward she had been on Jakku? She had definitely known to keep herself there, but she didn’t recall being quite so prickly and sullen.

“Right this way,” Uho said, leading them down the corridor. “Lunch is at twelve hundred hours. Don’t be late. Rations go quickly.”

“Are they real rations or do we have to add water?” Rey questioned as they moved along the corridor.

“Real rations.”

“Thank the stars.” She laughed, cocking her head to the side, ribbing Matt. “The rations you have to add water to taste like sawdust.”

“That sounds vile. Why would you eat it?”

Rey shrugged. “That was all I had to eat where I come from. Sometimes it was a quarter ration, sometimes a half, sometimes none. It was life.” She smiled at him. “So where are you from?”

“Dathomir.”

“I don’t think I know where that one is.”

“It’s Mid-Rim.”

She nodded. “You’re so cut and dry Matt. If I’m going to be teaching you the ways of mechanics, I’m also going to teach you a thing or two about socialization.”

He laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.” He eyed her, before flashing her an uncertain smile.

“Here we are,” Uho said as he typed a code into the keypad. “We keep the bay under lock to prevent any shenanigans. Your code to enter is 7-3-9-5-6. It’ll help us monitor who comes and goes.”

“Understood.” Rey and Matt said in unison as they stepped into the bay.

“ _Whoa_.” Rey’s eyes widened as she drank in the sight of TIE fighters in various states of repair around them. It was like a candy shop to her. Since she had found Luke she had taken up working on ships, tinkering with making the Resistance’s X-Wings the best in the galaxy. She needed something to make herself useful. General Organa had been disappointed when she returned without Luke and without any further knowledge of the Force. Whatever had happened with Kylo Ren had changed Luke into a man who refused to introduce anyone else to the Force. He blamed himself. He was determined to remain alone on the island.

“Impressive.” Matt said rather dryly, crossing his arms across his chest as he looked around the bay. “What are we supposed to do with them?”

“He’s all yours.” Uho said, patting Rey on the back before leaving them alone among the TIE fighters.

“Do you know anything about ships or mechanics?” Rey questioned, tilting her head to the side as she turned to face Matt. “Ever flown one?”

“I have a handful of times.” He admitted, pushing his glasses back up his nose. “But I’ve never taken one apart.”

“Then why did you sign up to be a mechanic?”

“I needed a job.”

Rey nodded slowly. “Could be worse right? They could have seen your inability and put you on trash duty or something _awful_.” She took him by the arm. “Come on, let’s get you acquainted with how these bad boys run.”

 

**The Present**

 

Kylo knelt on one knee before Snoke, hoping that his submitting posture would make up for the fact that he had made a grievous error. Their plan had been shot to the depths of Mustafar’s lave fields. All because he had to go and get attached to Rey.

“Remove your helmet Kylo Ren, I want to see your face.” Snoke hissed out.

His fingers trembled as he unlatched his helmet, sitting his helmet down beside his foot. “The plan –”

“Has gone exactly how I intended it to go. Did you honestly believe that I would trust you with such a foolish plan, were it not that I had other plans set into motion?” Snoke laughed, a sound that made Kylo’s blood run cold.

“I don’t understand.”

“I realized a year ago that the girl was a weakness for you.” Snoke leaned forward in his holographic throne, “You chose her over the droid, costing us valuable resources and time. And then you threw the fight with her.”

Kylo rose to his feet. “I did _no_ such thing. I was already weakened from the blaster. Both she and her friend proved to be worthy adversaries and I was unable to gain the upper hand.” He could feel his blood pounding in his ears, his lips trembling as he stared up at the Supreme Leader. “I did _not_ allow her to win.”

“Then I severally overestimated your abilities, Ren.” He raised his hand, “But these old failures are not why you’re here now. You’re here now to grovel at my feet because you failed once again. Don’t worry about the girl, General Hux has already been instructed to ensure that no harm comes to her.” Snoke chuckled darkly.

“Why? What plan do you have that involves her?”

“That’s none of your business Ren.” He leaned back in his seat. “You’ve played the part of the pawn with expert’s ease.”

Kylo opened his mouth to speak, only to watch Snoke fade away. His mind swam with so many questions that would go unanswered. He stomach gnawed at itself, furious with himself that he’d allowed Snoke to play him, to use him, to some mysterious means. And Rey was all part of it now.

 

**Five Months Prior**

 

Rey settled onto the bench beside him, sitting closer than was strictly necessary, but he’d grown used to her invading his personal space. In fact, though he’d never admit it aloud, he’d come to actually enjoy it and even await it.

“You know, it’s kind of impressive that we haven’t heard anything about Kylo Ren’s temper tantrums lately.” Rey mused as she twirled her potato curl in its sauce.

Kylo nearly inhaled his drink, playing his shock off as amusement. That was the first time she’d even mentioned his alter ego, the one that he _knew_ she despised. It was like she’d put that part of her life far from her mind. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’ve heard some of the other crew talk about how often he wreaked havoc on their hard work. Sure, his tantrums kept them busy in their jobs, but from what people have said they were rather petulant and childish.”

“I heard he’s not on the base. He’s somewhere else training or something.” Kylo said, keeping his eyes fixed on his tray of food. “Apparently he took his defeat quiet hard.”

“I heard he threw the fight.” Rey said firmly, rolling her eyes.

Kylo chuckled. The irony in knowing that _she_ was the one who fought Kylo made her charade all the more amusing. “You think he’d throw a fight?”

“I wasn’t there,” Rey said quickly. “I’m just assuming. From what I’ve heard.”

He nodded. “So am I.” Kylo nervously combed his fingers through his hair, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “At least his absence means we get a little peace.”

Rey smiled brightly at him. “I think we’re all thankful for that.” She said her hand finding its way onto his upper thigh.

“ _Rey_.” His lashes fluttered and he tried to ignore the way his cock reacted to even that simple of a touch.

“What?” Rey questioned, her gaze dropping to where her hand was. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

He chuckled a little, swallowing thickly. “You’re quite hands on.”

Rey’s cheeks turned bright pink. “I spent a _lot_ of time alone. Clearly I am not as civilized as I thought I was.” She laughed, her brows knitting together as she stared down at her food. “I can’t believe I just did that.”

Kylo patted her back. “No need to be so embarrassed Rey. It was just my leg. A little higher and then perhaps we’d have a problem.” It was easier, as Matt, just to _be_. He had almost forgotten what he had been like _before_ he’d become Kylo Ren. Perhaps Matt was some variation of his former self. Though he surely had none of his father’s roughish charms.

Rey rubbed at her cheeks. “You’re very sweet Matt.”

“As long as you don’t go grabbing the legs of _all_ the men in the crew, we won’t have a problem.” He retorted quietly, instantly regretting how possessive the words had come out. But Rey seemed to take them in stride, without so much as a look of repulsion.

Kylo was startled by the emotion he felt pouring off of her. She _liked_ him in a way that was very much _not_ platonic.

“Eat up.” Rey said, nudging him in the ribs. “We have to finish off the reactors.”

 

**The Present**

 

Kylo’s fists were balled at his sides as he stormed into his quarters, instantly regretting his momentary lapse of judgement as he let the door slam closed. In his flurry of anger he’d forgotten that Rey had said she was exhausted.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, his voice coming out so much deeper with his mask on. The damage had already been done. Rey was sitting up in his bed, staring at him with a look that would have surely killed him if she’d been intent in doing so. “I forgot you were resting.”

“I see the temper’s back.”

He wrenched off his helmet and sat it down on his table heavily. “I didn’t mean to wake you Rey. Go back to sleep.”

She turned to sit on the edge of the bed, her arms crossed across her chest. “What’s wrong?”

His brows knit together in confusion at her concern. “Snoke used us. Used _me_.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “And once again I’m the fool.” He laughed bitterly, shaking his head. “My only regret is that you’re now caught up in this mess.”

Rey chewed on her bottom lip as she eyed him, letting out a heavy sigh as she patted the bed beside her. “Come here.”

“What?”

“Come. Here.” She said a little slower, but it wasn’t the words he hadn’t understood – it was the fact that she _wanted_ him to come closer.

Kylo obeyed, moving slowly to sit down beside her on the bed, keeping decent space between them.

“What happened with Snoke?”

“To start at the beginning, I had a dream several weeks before you even applied for the job. In the dream I donned the persona of Matt and I befriended you and you ultimately revealed crucial details about the Resistance to me. For once the First Order didn’t make me the butt of their jokes, all across the ranks.” He said bitterly. “When news came that you had applied for the job, I informed Snoke and he pushed me into fulfilling the dream.”

Rey shook her head. “I suppose it’s merely a coincidence that this plan came to _me_ in a dream as well?”

Kylo pulled off his gloves, letting them drop to his feet. “It has to have been Snoke. He’s behind _all_ of this.”

Rey reached out and touched his hand gingerly. “But _why_? I don’t know much about this Snoke, but is it like him to play games with people? Just for the sake of it?”

“No. Everything he does has a purpose.” Kylo swallowed thickly, his gaze flickering to her stomach. “ _Oh_.”

“Oh what?” Rey questioned, following his line of sight to her stomach. “You think he _wanted_ to get me knocked up by you? Well he’s surely a sick bastard then.” She pulled her hand away from his, clenching it into a fist. “Maybe you’re used to being used like a pawn, but I’m _not_.”

“I never intended for you to be _used_ Rey.”

“Oh? How about the fact that I didn’t know I was fucking my enemy.” She retorted, narrowing her eyes at him. “I’m currently feeling _very_ used and here’s the damn proof it.” She gestured to her stomach.

Kylo grimaced. “I _tried_ to tell you, but you were doing a lot of things that had my brain going every which way.”

“You’re going to honestly tell me that _you_ did not know what was going to happen?” Rey arched a skeptical brow.

“I mean I knew _what_ was going to happen… The basics of it all. But I didn’t exactly plan for it to happen that night and I surely didn’t plan to make you pregnant.” He tugged at his hair, clenching his eyes closed. “For what it’s worth I’m sorry. For being a bumbling mess when it came to it and for how it ended.”

“Wait a second.” Rey shifted closer to him, studying his face. “ _That_ was your first time?”

“Was it that obvious?”

Rey couldn’t help but laugh. “I cannot believe this.” She covered her mouth, her eyes wide as she stared at him. “ _Wow_.”

Kylo’s cheeks felt flushed. “Congratulations. When you get back to the Resistance you can proudly inform my mother that you made me a virgin no more and have the child to prove it.”

“For that being your first time, it was actually _very_ good.” She assured him, rubbing her hand over his back. “I’m impressed. Though that doesn’t change the fact that I’m still _disgusted_ that I didn’t know who I was falling into bed with.”

Kylo widened his eyes dramatically. “I tried to tell you.”

“I know now.” Rey said quietly.

 

**Three Months Ago**

 

Rey bit back a grin as Matt stepped into her quarters. He’d been in them a half dozen times before, but he’d always lingered in the doorway or avoided the intimate contact she’d tried to initiate. But tonight he was far more keen to let her lace their fingers together as they walked through the corridor and far more overjoyed to kiss her as they watched the stars through one of the many skylights on the base.

Seducing Matt hadn’t been part of her mission plan’s, but as the days clicked on, he’d become her second priority. Something about him called out to her on the basest layer and she _craved_ him like she had never craved before. When she returned to the Resistance, she was taking him with her.

“Did you have fun tonight?” She questioned as she turned her bedside lamp on, not wanting the room to be too bright.

“I did.” Matt replied with one of his signature dorky smiles. She considered herself to be the reason he’d broken free from his socially awkward shell. He was so full of life now; making snarky remarks, reaching out for her, and talking and laughing with her.

“And the real fun hasn’t even begun yet,” Rey retorted, pressing up against him, winding her arms around him. She rose up on her toes to kiss him, a soft little groan slipping past her lips as he deepened the kiss instinctually.

Matt’s hands seemed uncertain of where they were supposed to go and she unwrapped her arms to guide his hands to her ass, pressing closer to him. Tonight was the night that they finally got the point they’d been leading up to. They’d been dancing around it for weeks. Every time she thought it might happen, he’d shy away.

She slid one hand down to cup him through his coveralls, amused by how hard he already is for her. “You’ve been holding out on me.” Rey teased, “I guess what they say about big hands and feet is true.”

Matt gave a strained chuckle. “That feels good.”

Rey grinned, nipping at his bottom lip. “I somehow figured you’d enjoy it.” She pulled her hand away, toying with the zipper of his coveralls as she backed him towards her bed. It was small, but just big enough for the pair of them to curl up together in.

Matt moved to sit on the edge of her bed, before laying back as she moved to join him there. She started slow, kissing him languidly, her tongue dancing with his as the intensity grew slowly. She dragged the zipper down further, helping him get his arms out of the coveralls.

Rey moved to straddle his hips, looking down at him in the pale light of her lamp. He had scars marring his otherwise perfect torso. He was far more muscular that she’d expected. He looked so wiry and thin and yet he was _ripped_. Her fingers gingerly traced his scars.

“Rey–”

“ _Shhh_.” She whispered, lifting her freehand to his lips. “There’s no need to explain.” Rey assured him, guiding his hands to the hem of her shirt, encouraging him to take it off of her. “We all have our scars and our secrets.”

He started to speak again and she cut him off with a searing kiss. Whatever he had to say could wait until this was over. She didn’t want to hear his secrets and risk running the moment that they’d been working towards.

Matt’s fingers felt like fire as they skimmed over her newly bared chest, cupping her breasts and learning her body. She ground her hips downwards, seeking friction for both of them to soothe the ache that could feel pouring off of him.

She lifted up on her knees to finish pushing his coveralls down, her eyes widening as she took in the sight of him straining against his stomach. “ _Damn_.” Rey laughed softly, grinning down at him as she curled her fingers around him.

“ _Rey_.” He breathed out as he pushed her pants down her hips, just as keen as she was to rid the layers between them.

“Later Matt,” She smiled, leaning down to kiss him. “Whatever you want to tell me you can tell me later.” She pushed her fingers through his hair as she squirmed to get out of her pants efficiently.

Matt curled his hands around her hips, rocking up against her, groaning as her slick flesh came in contact with his aching cock.

“ _Yes_.” She breathed out, reaching down between them to guide his cock to her waiting center. All other thoughts seemed to fade away as she was finally able to sate the desire that been haunting her thoughts.

Rey planted her hands on his chest, rocking her hips downwards, finding a pace that satisfied both of them. One that was designed to drive them both crazy.

It was all over far too fast for her liking. Whatever Matt had been so intent in telling her clearly hadn’t been that important because he was already drifting to sleep beside her. She wasn’t even disappointed, his exhaustion was testament to her of a damn good time. And she _wanted_ him sleeping there beside her.

Back on Jakku sex had been a good way to stay alive. It made friends in high and low places and sometimes it meant getting food when there was nothing to scavenge. Those hasty fucks had never been with someone she wanted to curl up next to and bask in the afterglow. Not until Matt came along.

 

**The Present**

 

Six months within the Starkiller Base and all she had learned was that Kylo Ren was the little spoon. Which had come to her as a complete shock (not that she’d ever actively wondered if he was the big or little spoon). She was _sure_ General Organa would be thrilled with that intel, which got them absolutely nowhere.

Rey nestled closer to him, her forehead pressed against his shoulder, her arm curled around his waist. Clearly she hadn’t been the only one who needed sleep. She had had _no_ intention of letting him sleep in the bed with her, but he’d looked so pitiful coming back from talking to Snoke, and she could feel the waves of regret washing over him through the Force.

When he slept she could see Matt in his face. A sort of youthful innocence that was barely visible when Kylo was awake. Whether she liked it or not, she and Kylo were connected by the tiny little life forming in her womb. And if Snoke had had some hand in pushing them to conceive the baby, then they were going to _need_ each other in the coming days.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It turns out this isn't going to be a two-parter after all. Looks like it's more likely to be a three parter. But I guess I'll let the muses decide. I hope the time jumps aren't too confusing. 
> 
> Comments are love my fellow Reyloites. ;)

**Five Months Ago**

 

Kylo’s heart was pounding in his chest as he looked down at Rey. He hadn’t been completely immune to her looks the first time they’d met, but now it was different. Now she looked at him with adoration and not hatred. Under the guise of Matt it didn’t feel _wrong_ to note the hazel tones in her eyes or the dimples that formed when she smiled at him. None of it felt wrong and that was the problem.

“Are you planning on kissing me or are you just going to stand there and stare at my lips?”

His lashes fluttered and he swallowed back the lump in his throat. “I had thought about it.” His fingers were trembling as he reached out to cup her cheek, brushing his thumb over the rise of her cheekbone. He hadn’t actually _ever_ kissed someone before. Sure, he’d seen them on holovids – he was fully aware _how_ a kiss worked.

Kylo leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, a hesitant sort of kiss, lips parting ever so slightly to slant over hers. Rey surged upwards, her mouth moving against his, her tongue sweeping out, seeking entrance.

Her fingers wound through his hair, tugging at the strands as they slid between her fingers.

 _This_ was far more preferable than fighting each other. Not that she even knew that the man she was kissing wasn’t an awkward guy named Matt, but her enemy Kylo Ren.

Kylo couldn’t suppress the groan that rose up in the back of his throat as she pressed herself closer to him.

“Am I interrupting something?”

Rey pulled back, turning her head to face one of the other crew members. “Carry on Makko.” She crossed her arms across her chest, narrowing her eyes at him.

Kylo stepped behind her, levelling Makko with a disapproving glare. He’d noticed the way Makko seemed to follow Rey around throughout the day. He worked in munitions, there was _no_ reason for him to always loiter around the garage bay, waiting for Rey to get off.

“How did you even get in here?”

“I memorized Uho’s code.” Makko said with a short laugh. “Don’t worry Matt, this has _nothing_ to do with you.” He smirked at Rey. “I’m a little disappointed, you told me you weren’t _interested_ in romantics.”

Kylo’s fists balled at his side, resisting the urge to use the force to choke the life out of Makko. The look he was giving Rey made his blood run cold.

“I said I wasn’t interested in getting romantic with _you_. There’s a difference.” Rey spat out.

“But you’re interested in _him_?” Makko made a repulsed face. “He looks like the backside of a Tauntaun.”

It was taking every ounce of self-control in him _not_ to reach out and strangle him. He was just _asking_ for it now.

“That’s _enough_ Makko.” Rey moved forward, delivering a fierce blow to Makko’s jaw. “Just accept the fact that you’re a _creep_ and I want nothing to do with you.”

Kylo grinned, amused at Makko’s howls of pain as he clutched his face. Rey didn’t need him to protect her, she was more than capable of holding her own. And _that_ was one of the many reasons she made his heart beat faster.

“You’ve got a mean left hook.”

Rey grinned at him. “All I can say is don’t _ever_ piss me off.” She cupped Kylo’s cheek and leaned up to kiss him. Her fingers brushed over the place where his scar was, the one she couldn’t see as Matt. The one she’d caused. His expression fell and he pulled away from her. He _had_ to focus on the mission.

“I have to go.” He whispered apologetically as he turned on his heels and headed for the garage bay door.

 

**The Present**

 

“Wake up Kylo.”

His eyes snapped open, surprised to see Rey’s staring down at him. “What’s wrong?” He felt completely disoriented as he blinked rapidly. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Rey said, gently brushing her knuckles over his cheek. “But _you_ were thrashing around in your sleep. Were you having a nightmare?”

He nodded slowly, a small smile creasing at the corners of his lips. “I was.” He sighed heavily, grimacing a little as he shifted on the bed. His side ached where he’d been shot when he slept on it wrong. “Same nightmare I’ve had before.” Kylo frowned. “I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

“Don’t apologize,” She moved to get out of the bed, stretching her arms above her head as she moved to investigate what he had in the small kitchenette in the corner. “We all have nightmares we have no control over.”

Kylo watched her as she pulled a box of cereal out from the cabinet. “If you don’t like what I have, I can get you food. Whatever you’d like.”

Rey shook her head, waving her hand dismissively. “That’s not necessary. As long as there’s some sort of food here, I’ll be happy with it.”

He dragged his fingers through his hair as he sat up. He could still feel the dream clinging to his skin, making his stomach roll anxiously. He hadn’t been exactly truthful when he’d told her it was the same nightmare he’d had before, it was a new one. A new one that focused on her. He would protect her until his dying breath.

“I know that I made a mistake deceiving you Rey.” Kylo said lowly, his words coming out hesitantly. “The intentions were _never_ to fall into bed with you.” He hated himself more than she could ever hate him.

Rey sighed heavily. “I just don’t understand how I couldn’t see through your mindtricks.”

“Because you didn’t want to see _me_.” Kylo explained simply, casting his gaze downwards. “The last person who wanted to see was Kylo Ren, you didn’t expect to see him down in mechanics.”

“Do you always talk about yourself in the third person?’ Rey quipped, turning to pour herself a bowl of cereal. “Matt wasn’t anything like you. He was sweet and caring, albeit rough around the edges. But he was mine.”

He glanced up at her hesitantly, his eyes meeting hers. “Matt was more me than I’ve been in a _very_ long time, Rey. As the days turned into weeks, I started to forget about the plan. I looked forward to the long days spent with you in the garage, trying to teach me how to modify TIE fighters. But I always longed for the _after_ hours, when you’d look at me like I’d hung the stars as you held my hand.” He flexed his fingers at the memory.

“You didn’t just see my emotions as a chance to take advantage of me?” Rey’s voice seemed skeptical, but he couldn’t bear to look at her face. He knew he’d betrayed her trust and he would _never_ have it again.

“No. Honestly, I was surprised that you liked me… _him_. You’re a beautiful woman Rey, that was something I noticed even as we were at odds –”

“We’re _still_ at odds.”

“Right.” He swallowed thickly. “My feelings for you were authentic. That wasn’t an act.” Kylo bowed his head, not sure he even _deserved_ to look at her now. “I know your feelings were towards another man.”

“A man nothing like you.” Rey crossed her arms across her chest. “And yet now in hindsight I realize I should have figured it out. I thought I was stronger that.”

Kylo rose then. “You _are_ stronger than that Rey, but your power is unfocused. You have all the potential in the world if you just hone your skills. I can teach you.”

“That’s why you laughed when I said I could teach you about mechanics.” Rey leaned against the counter, shaking her head. “How was I so blind?” Her eyes flashed at him, “Did you trick me into caring about you? Did you _make_ me like you?”

“No.” His face fell as he stopped in front of her. “Search my mind Rey. You will see that it was _never_ my intention. I only wanted to befriend you and learn what you were planning on doing for the Resistance. I didn’t plan on _caring_.”

“That’s close enough.” Rey said, holding her hands up defensively to keep him where he was. “I refuse to be some weak-willed captive that falls for her captor. You are _not_ Matt. You never were.”

The words sting, but he deserves them. He deserves her hate and a part of him craves it, because it fuels the anger in his soul. The anger that had made him so susceptible to the Dark Side to begin with. “Would it help you if I told you it _was_ all a game to me? Some sick and twisted game.”

Rey narrowed her eyes. “You’re lying.”

“Now you can tell?” He’s hurting her just to spite himself. He can see the pain in her eyes that she pushes down, hiding it from him. He’s seen her break like that before.

“Stop.” She pushed against his mind, invading it, forcing her way inside. He feels her all around, like she’s living within his body. His mind is weak, fatigued from the situation he found himself in. The barriers weren’t as strong. They couldn’t hold her out. Her assault isn’t clean, it’s unbalanced and overwhelming and he’s not even sure he wants to push her out.

Nothing she finds would aid the Resistance. She’s not even looking for that. She’s looking for him. Not Kylo Ren, not Matt – she’s searching for some fragment of humanity still remaining inside of him. She finds him.

Ben is a fractured part of his soul. A child in comparison to the dark looming figure that occupies so much of his essence. Kylo Ren has bullied Ben, forced him to retreat into a darkened corner. It’s like an explosion of light in his mind when she bursts through the walls around him. It blinds him. Searing him to the very core.

They both know why Snoke wanted them to conceive a child. The knowledge is conveyed between them in the most unexplainable of ways.

He’s broken beyond repair.

Rey gasps as she retreats from his mind, her eyes wide with terror and surprise. “How do you live in there?”

Kylo pinches the bridge of his nose, letting out a ragged breath. “It’s all I have.”

“Your nightmare.” She steps towards him, reaching out to brush his dark hair away from his forehead. “You saw me die didn’t you? Snoke had our child.”

“You are carrying a _very_ powerful baby, Rey. One that perhaps will outshine my grandfather’s Chosen One status.”

“I know.” Rey’s hand went to her stomach. “I can feel the power. It’s no bigger than a kumquat and yet I can feel its connection to the Force.”

“I could feel it. When I came back. I could feel that something was different. You were brighter.” Kylo isn’t sure if he’s allowed to touch her. He shouldn’t be allowed to. But she’s touching him, stroking his cheek and playing with his hair and he just wants to hold her and somehow make it all better. But he can’t. He can’t undo what’s been done.

“Brighter?” Rey’s lips part as she inhales sharply. “You see me like the sun.”

He blinks, nodding slightly. “I do.”

“That’s a lot to live up to.” Rey laughs and he feels the warmth of it in his soul. She curled her fingers around his hands, guiding them to her hips, letting him know without words that he can touch her.

“Was I bad?”

“What?” She blinks, arching a brow as she looks up at him and then she realizes. “You are _definitely_ a man.”

He cracked a small smile, “I never got to ask.”

“Considering it happened twice that night and twice in the morning and made us _late_ for work, it’s safe to say that you were good.” She scrunched up her nose. “Though the first time you were kind of overeager. But you made up for it.”

“You were _really_ good.” Kylo felt his cheeks go red.

“It probably would have been even better if I’d known who you were.” She widened her eyes, no small amount of sass in her words.

He shook his head. “You probably wouldn’t have continued if I’d told you.”

“Is that why you didn’t?”

“No… _maybe_. I wanted to. I tried to. But I just wanted to forget who I was and be with you. It felt like a vacation from my own mind.” He couldn’t help the sound of surprise that left him when she rose up on her toes and kissed him soundly on the mouth. He hadn’t expected that.

Love was so much more powerful than hate.

 

**One Week Ago**

 

She hadn’t expected to ever see him again. When he’d vanished without so much as a goodbye, she’d assumed the worst. Maybe Kylo Ren had caught on to the fact she’d infiltrated the base, maybe he’d learned about her attachment to Matt and decided to teach her a lesson. Uho had assured her that he had been transferred to another base, on another planet, and he wasn’t sure when or _if_ he would be back.

Which made her situation even worse.

Rey wasn’t entirely certain how she was supposed to return to the Resistance and explain how epically she’d failed and how she had a _child_ to prove how very off course she had gotten over the past few months. When she left there was a chance she’d never find Matt again. He hadn’t been very forthcoming about his past and given how tightlipped Uho was about his whereabouts, tracking him down across the galaxy was going to be impossible.

But then he was there. Standing outside her door with that lopsided grin she’d come to _lo_ –… She couldn’t let herself _think_ that way. He’d left her, like her family had, without so much as an explanation and to love him meant a heartbreak she wasn’t sure she could handle.

“ _Matt_.” She’s hesitant at first but then she’s throwing herself at him, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face into the crook of his neck.

“I’m sorry I left.” He tenses a little, his hands resting at her hips as he pulls back to look down at her. “What’s wrong?”

Rey’s brows furrow together. “Nothing’s _wrong_.” Her fingers glide over his arms, smiling softly up at him before she realizes what he means. “Oh.”

“Oh?”

“Is it that obvious?”

Matt shook his head. “Is what obvious?”

This wasn’t how she’d planned to tell him. Hell, she hadn’t even expected to have the _chance_ to tell him. “I-…” She let out a heavy breath, chewing on her bottom lip. “You need to sit down. Come in.” She stepped out of the way to let him into her quarters, her heart pounding like a drum in her chest.

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“It’s not exactly good, but it’s not really bad either.” Rey moved to sit on the bed beside him. Her room felt so much smaller with him in it. She’d missed that feeling. “After you left I started getting sick.”

Matt reached out to take her hand, squeezing it tightly. “Are you better now?”

“Not exactly.” Rey laced their fingers together, smiling at how petite her hand looked in his larger hold. “I wasn’t entirely certain at first. I was in disbelief honestly.” She shook her head, taking his hand and resting it on her stomach. There was a subtle curve to her belly where it had been flat before. “I’m pregnant.”

She had expected shock from him. She hadn’t expected _horror_ however. Her heart fell.

“ _What_?”

She dropped his hand, batting her eyes to keep from tearing up. She wasn’t one to _ever_ cry, but her emotions were all over the place now. “You heard me.” Rey clenched her fists. “Are you just going to sit there and stare like I repulse you?”

Matt shook his head a little. “No. I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to look so aghast. I just…” He rubbed his temples. “ _Me_ a father?” He laughed incredulously. “And you’re certain?”

“I went to see the medic.” She frowned. “You’re leaving again aren’t you?”

“ _What_?”

“I can’t explain it, but it feels like you’re already halfway out the door.” She _could_ explain it, but she didn’t want him to know that she was Force sensitive. “Stay the night. That’s all I ask.” She felt like an idiot. Asking him to stay. He didn’t deserve that right.

“I can’t Rey.” He drew her into his arms, hesitant to touch her like he always had been. “I have to go and this time, I don’t know if I’ll ever return.”

Rey pressed her face against his chest. “Can’t you tell them you’re having a child?”

He laughed softly, pressing his lips to the top of her head. “If only it were that simple, my love.” He scooped up her legs, cradling her in his lap. “I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t even _think_ this would happen.”

“At least I get to say goodbye this time.” But it didn’t lessen the pain. She _hated_ that she’d become so attached to him, that it only grew stronger in his absence. Rey pulled back, cupping his cheeks as she stared into his eyes. “You take care of yourself. You hear me. I don’t want to find out that you were scattered across the universe some day because you still didn’t learn how to connect warp transfusers.”

Matt laughed, a hearty laugh that lit up his eyes. There was something familiar in his hazel gaze. Something that struck fear in her heart, but she brushed it off as the fear of losing him. Like she’d lost everyone. Her track record wasn’t exactly the best. “I’ll do my best.”

Rey pressed her lips against his. “Do you know where they’re sending you?”

“It’s been kept a secret.” He sighed, his fingers stroking her arm. “I wish I knew.”

“How did you get to come back?”

Matt glanced away. “The transfer path crossed with base. I only have an hour.”

“And that’s almost up.” She frowned, brushing her thumbs over the rise of his cheeks. “I know we’ll met again. Somehow.”

“ _Somehow_.”

 

**Four Months Later**

 

“You shouldn’t be going on this mission,” The General warns. “Not in your condition. The stars only know what I tried when I was pregnant with _him_.” Rey realizes then that in all these months General Organa hasn’t called him by name. Not Kylo Ren, not Ben Solo. It hadn’t been easy on any of them when she’d returned.

She’d hid her pregnancy at first. It was easier to just return to daily life among her friends and comrades, than accept what had happened while she fraternized with the Dark Side. But soon it was hard to hide the way her belly swelled and the way her gait changed. She was thin framed and always light on her feet, but pregnancy changed that. Poe noticed first, but he didn’t say anything. Rey could see it in his eyes every time they joined together in the mess hall. Finn was oblivious, as he was to most things.

Telling General Organa had been the hardest.

Finn and Poe were the most receptive. Finn was overjoyed for her at first, before realizing that joy was probably not the right emotion to be feeling. Poe was _worried_. He didn’t question her about it until they were alone, when he asked her _how_ it had happened. Of course she’d sidestepped the technicalities. He didn’t need to know the child had been conceived, that there had been a completely unintentional dubious element to it that neither of them had expected. It would have been more black and white had she not fallen into his bed again.

But General Organa – she hadn’t looked at her the same since she’d been informed of the situation. And the more her stomach grew, the more apparent it became that she carried her grandchild, the more uncertain her gaze grew.

“I have to go General. I could send in a fleet of our best pilots and our best fighters, but they aren’t _me_. I have to do this.”

“You said he sent you away. Why do you think going back is the right choice?”

Rey chewed on her bottom lip. “Because… I feel him at night. It’s like a cold chill running down my spine. If I don’t go now, there might not be a chance to save him.”

“There _isn’t_ a chance left. Your baby is better off never knowing him. Not after what he did.”

“Promise me when I bring him back that you’ll give him another chance,” Rey said, disregarding the General’s words. “He needs his mother.”

“He needs to be put down.”

Rey’s brows knit together. “He’s your son.”

“He’s a murderer.” Her gaze drops to her stomach. “Your child is better off not knowing their origins. Luke and I were better for never knowing that our father was Darth Vader and your child will be better off too.”

“ _No_. I still don’t know who my parents are and it has tortured me every day of my life. The only man that could possibly tell me who they are refused to tell me _anything_ after – might I say – a lengthy, arduous, and painful journey to find his scattered map pieces. I’ve seen inside Ben’s mind, General, it is a terrible, painful place. I don’t know how he’s remained as sane as he has. But if I don’t go now, I _know_ that I will lose the last chance I have to save him.” She narrowed her eyes. “You’ve felt it too.”

“ _What_?” General Organa took a step backwards.

“You felt him just like I did.” Rey shook her head. “At least I reached back. I didn’t shut him out like you did.” She gasped softly, still surprised by the fluttering kicks of her baby. She’s not sure if it’s her anger or the talk of Kylo that’s stirred the baby awake. It always seemed acutely aware of when he was being discussed.

The General frowns deeply. “You realize that capturing him will change nothing. He will be our captive and the First Order will want him returned to them. He will be a liability to this base. To _all_ of us. His power far surpasses yours, girl. He will be brought before a court of his peers and he will be tried for his crimes. Every life lost because of him will be accounted for.”

“He is one of only three surviving Jedi.” Rey said crisply. “Seeing as one is in permanent exile, it would be in the Resistance’s best interests to let _me_ work with him. There’s still light left in him. If there wasn’t he wouldn’t have let me go. Not the way he did.”

“He was in love with me.”

“ _Impossible_. He is too far gone to love.” She waved her hand dismissively. “You don’t have to love someone to make a child. Or are you that naïve?”

“I won’t lie and say this baby was made out of love. Neither one of us were being truthful and we were both being tricked by forces greater than us to get to that point.” Rey let out a heavy sigh. “But… he _loved_ me.”

“But did you love him?”

“Yes.” Rey felt about an inch high. “I was falling in love with his alter ego and then I found myself falling in love with him. And a part of me hates that I can love him after all he did. I want to save him. And if I fail, I’m prepared for the weight of that failure to rest squarely on my shoulders.”

“Then bring him home.”

 

**The Past**

 

It’s hard to sleep with her ass pressed squarely against his groin, like she knew exactly what she was doing to him. He wants to sleep, his body is screaming at him sleep – so is his mind – even with his nightmare last night it was one of his better sleeps. But it’s his last night with her and perhaps the last time he’ll ever be at peace again. Two blissful weeks with her wasn’t enough, but they have to be. He knows that Snoke can feel the disturbance in the Force. Something within him has shifted. As long as Rey and their child are within Snoke’s grasp they’re in danger and he refuses to be the reason they are harmed.

Hux has noticed.

Hux has reported to the Supreme Leader that Kylo Ren has gone soft.

He smiles. He laughs. He _loves_.

Hux would go against the Supreme Leader just to spite Ren. Just to hurt him. He’s always felt inferior because he lacked the power that Kylo Ren had. He wasn’t in tune with the Force. But he could strike where it would hurt the most.

“Rey, wake up.” He whispered, his lips brushing over the curve of her shoulder.

“What is it?” Rey questions, her voice thick with sleep as she nestles back against him more.

“Get up and get dressed.” Kylo pulls away from her. He has to. If he doesn’t he’ll get selfish and that’s the last thing he needs right now. Not when it means Rey’s life.

“What’s wrong?” He can sense her fear. “Have I done something wrong?”

“No. Far from it.” He shook his head, moving to find his discarded clothes, dressing with purpose. He has to pull away from the light. If he doesn’t the pain will be worse than it already is. “I need you to come with me.”

“Where?”  Rey questions as she pulls on her clothes, her brows pinched together. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“It’s best that you know as little as possible.” Kylo says distantly, grabbing his helmet and concealing his face from her. He can feel her probing, trying to invade his mind, but he blocks her out effectively. She can’t know.

“Ben _talk_ to me.”

He stiffens. It’s the first time she’s called him that. He’s been Kylo or Ren, but not Ben. He’s certain she’s using it to get through his walls, to make him talk, but all it does is strength them. “Don’t call me that.” He huffs out, his voice distorted through the filter of his mask.

Rey’s expression falters and she nods stiffly. “I won’t call you anything then.” She bit out, crossing her arms across her chest. “Take me wherever we’re going. Get it over with.”

He’s betrayed her. But for the right reasons. He’s not turning her over to Snoke or Hux or _anyone_ that could hurt her. He’s turning her over to herself, setting her free, letting her return where she actually belongs.

The Resistance is her home. They have the means to keep her and their child safe. He can’t. As much as he wishes that he can, to keep them is to lose them.

The mechanic garage is quiet. They’re alone like old times, but everything has changed. He can feel the hope pouring off of her as he leads them to one of the TIE fighters that is in almost perfect condition.

“Are we leaving?” Her eyes widen with momentary delight.

“You are.”

The light in her eyes vanishes. “Why are you doing this Kylo?”

“It’s the only way.”

“The only way for _what_ exactly?”

“Just go Rey.”

“They’ll know you helped me escape. You can’t stay behind.” She reaches for him, grabbing his hands and holding them tight. “Come with me. Come home.”

“I can’t.” He’s choking back the emotion that’s swelling in his throat. The pain is almost too much to bear. He’d rather get shot again by Chewie’s blaster than endure this sort of torment.

“ _Please_.” She lifts her hand to touch his helmet, like she’s touching his cheek. “There’s still hope for you.”

“No.” He shook his head before pulling away from her. His fingers are surprisingly nimble as they work at the controls of the lift, bringing the TIE fighter down and disengaging it from all of the machinery surrounding it. “Enter hyperspeed as soon as you can. They won’t be expecting your departure. You can be halfway across the universe before they can get a fleet together.”

“You’re a better man than I expected.” Rey whispered, putting herself between him and the controls. “I _will_ see you again.” She said, lifting up on her toes and pulling him down to press a kiss against the mouthpiece of his helmet.

_Not in this lifetime I’m afraid._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I'm going to keep moving the chapters up a notch. This chapter was strange and not as long as I'd expected, but the uses demanded it written and posted tonight. It's angsty, a little sexy, and a little fluffy. We'll probably get a few more Matt flashbacks in the next chapter.

**Now**

 

The chains are no longer just psychological. Snoke is ruthless in his punishment. More so than he had been when Rey had defeated him the first time. Only this time it’s not failure that’s brought upon Snoke’s wrath – its _betrayal_. Hux had demanded that Snoke brand him a traitor and execute him for show, but Snoke had other, more malicious, plans.

He was tortured within an inch of his life.

But it still can’t snuff out that tiny ray of light within him. _Rey_. Her memory was the only thing barely keeping him sane. _Barely._ Every day it started to fade more and more. He was losing himself to the pain that weakens him instead of strengthens him.

Snoke knows that he’s killing him. Each time he’s dragged out before the Supreme Leader, he wonders if it’ll be his last time.

Today, Kylo is _certain_ that it’s over. For four long months he’s managed to survive. But everything hurts and everything is dark and _Rey_. He can hear her voice so vividly that he could have sworn she was right there with him.

She’s always been with him. She was the only thing that made him feel like he could survive a little longer. He knew she could feel him. He could feel _her_. Like a ghost. That’s why he knows it’s almost over. She feels _so_ real.

“ _Rey_.”

“I’m here.”

His eyes snap open, or at least that’s what he _intended_ to do. But even that is too much effort for him. One eye is barely cracked open and it’s enough. He’s lost it. Clearly. Because Rey is there, light streaking in through door behind her, giving her an aura that is almost like staring into the sun.

“Is this the end?”

“In a sense.” She brushed her knuckles gently over his cheek. “Technically it’s a kidnapping.”

“ _What_?” His voice sounds so very dry. He can’t remember the last time he’s had more than a a few spoons full of water.

“The Resistance is taking a prisoner of war. _You_.”

Kylo smiled weakly at her. “It might be too late.”

“It’s never too late.”

Her smile is the last thing he sees as he slips into the welcoming darkness.

 

**One Week Later**

“How’s he doing?” Rey questioned hesitantly as she stepped into the med-bay room.

The nurse smiled sympathetically and shook her head, before returning to reading his reports on her datapad. “I’m afraid he’s given up.”

“He _can’t_ give up.” She bit out, “There has to be something more you can do for him.”

“We have done all we can for his body. It’s his mind that we have no control over.”

Rey nodded her head slowly, trying to contain her anger because it’s _not_ the nurse’s fault. “Can you give us a moment?”

“Of course.” The nurse nodded, keeping her gaze on the floor as she hurried out, shutting the door behind her.

She’s not entirely sure how long she’s stood there staring at him. Willing him to move, to twitch, to grasp her hand. Every day since they’d returned she’d spent as much time with him as she could without going insane. But he never responded.

She let down the guardrail on his bed, shifting his body carefully over further so she could join him. If the nurses caught her, she’s fairly certain they’d ban her from his room. Somehow, she’s not sure fondling a comatose patient is ethical. As it is, he’s being treated more like a criminal than a patient. His wrists and ankles were bound to the bed with cuffs, not that he’s trying to escape.

Rey moved her hands over the bindings, using the force to remove them so she could maneuver his arm around her. “You have to wake up Ben.” She whispered, pressing her face into the crook of his neck. “I’m afraid they’ll stop treating you if you don’t. They’re wasting resources. I’ve heard them talking.”

Unsurprisingly she’s met with silence.

“Our baby is growing bigger every day.” She tells him, pulling his hand to her stomach so he can feel their child kicking against his palm. “Can you believe I’m almost eight months along?” Rey sighed, “I should have come back sooner. I should have come for you before you grew so weak. I was just stupidly trying to forget about how much I loved you.”

Something shifts.

She’s not entirely certain _what_. Her eyes flicker to his vitals which remain unchanging. Weak but steady in their weakness. His face is expressionless. His body still. But she’s certain that something has _shifted_.

“Ben?” Rey whispered, brushing her fingers over his cheek, her fingertips playing lightly over the scar of her own doing. “I love you.”

Her eyes widen as she feels him brush against her mind.

“I missed you.” She breathed out, pressing her face into the crook of his neck again, her eyes falling closed as she seeks out a path into his mind. It’s dark inside his mind. Darker than it was the first time she completely invaded it. She can’t even find the corner he was in. All there is is darkness.

“I missed you too.” He’s behind her. She can feel him almost as though it were real. But it’s not. She knows it. Ben is laying in a hospital bed, comatose, and still. But this force is his mind and  she can feel the rage radiating from him.

“If you missed me so much then why do you feel like you want to rip me apart with your bare hands?” She retorted lowly, turning around to face him.

“Because you’re the reason I’m like this.” He snapped, anger crackling in the air between them. None of it is real and yet the fear is. “I didn’t want to be saved Rey. I deserved to _die_.”

“No you didn’t.” Rey pressed her palms against his chest, tilting her head to look up at him, but he’s staring straight ahead, not at her. “You deserved a second chance. Letting me go proved that there is still good in you.”

“If there was any good in me it died the day I let you go.” He gritted. “The light was extinguished. _Completely_.”

“Then how can I see you?”

He looks down at her, his hazel eyes staring into hers. “Because you _are_ the light.” Before she had a chance to remark at that, his lips were on hers hard and fast. It’s surprisingly searing for a kiss that’s occurring in their minds. But it feels _real_.

Her fingers delve into his messy dark hair, cradling the back of his head as she leans up into the kiss. He’s clutching at her like his life depends upon it. She can feel the waves of emotion pouring off of him. Fear, anger, hatred, loneliness, defeat… _love_.

Rey gasped against his lips as her back hit a wall she hadn’t even known was there. Everything felt so real here. The weight of his body pressing her back against the wall was so incredibly _real_. So was his cock pressing against her through the layers of their clothes.

“ _Ben_.” She groaned as he stooped over to kiss along her neck. Her body was a tight coil of desire ready to snap. In this strange mindspace she wasn’t heavily pregnant, which was convenient. Considering what was about to take place.

Her hands roamed over his body, recalling all the places that she’d learned would drive him crazy. His fingers were nimble as they removed her pants and underwear in one surprisingly swift motion. His own trousers, pushed down his hips.

He hoisted her up against the wall, urging her to wrap her legs around him, his hands supporting her ass as he ground himself against her aching center. She could feel him inside of her before he even slipped into her. He was everywhere all at once, invading every single pore and every fiber of her being in a way that should have terrified her. It was enough to send her careening over the edge embarrassingly fast. But the pace of his hips had her climbing a second peak – far more intense than anything she’d ever known before.

Rey cried out as they careened over that edge of oblivion together and she swore she saw stars exploding behind her eyes.

And then she was awake.

She panicked. Afraid that it had all been a too-vivid dream.

But his hand was curled possessively around her hip.

“Ben.” She smiled as he opened his eyes, his own lips curving upwards into an easy smile. “Did I really just have to fuck you awake?”

He chuckled. “I’m not even sure how that happened.” Ben shifted beside her, wiggling his fingers and his toes. “Everything hurts.”

“You’re still healing.” Rey kissed him soundly on the lips. “But you’re awake.” She brushed her fingers over his forehead, playing with the hair there.

“Why are my ankles cuffed?” Ben questioned, before realizing the answer to that question an instant later. “Right. I’m an enemy.”

Rey scrunched up her nose. “I’ll talk to General Organa about all of it. But right now I just want to enjoy the fact that you’re awake.” She kissed him again, encouraging him to kiss her back.

“You’re _huge_.”

“Thanks.” She retorted dryly as he brushed his fingers over her swollen belly. “It’s all your fault.”

“I got thinner and you got bigger.” He grinned brightly. “Was that a kick?” He pressed his palm against her stomach a little firmer.

“Yes.” Rey laughed, combing her fingers through his hair. “He or she is quite the kicker. Especially when you’re mentioned.” She gasped a little at the little kicks. “Our baby loves you. I can feel the love.”

“Do you _really_ love me?”

She smiled and nodded. “I probably shouldn’t. In fact, I’m certain most of the base would tell me not to love you. But I can’t control my heart. Maybe I could if I was actually trained in the Force. I could cut off my emotions and become some famed Jedi Master. But that’s not my course. And I don’t think Snoke can fully be blamed for this situation. We crashed into each other nearly two years ago and I think our destiny was sealed. What happened, to get us to here, would have happened regardless.”

“That’s quite a theory.”

“I’ve had a lot of time to think. Mostly about us.” Rey admitted a little sheepishly. “I know everyone thinks I’m crazy. Maybe I am. But here we are.”

“Will I be tried?”

She frowned. Almost uncertain if she should tell him. Afraid he might decide to hide away again within himself. “Unfortunately. Your mother thinks you should pay for your crimes. All of them. But I won’t let it happen. Even if I have to pack us up and run back to Jakku with you.”

Ben laughed a little, rubbing her side. “You don’t have to do that. I should pay for my crimes. All of them.”

Rey shook her head. “ _No_. Because they’ll lock you away forever and then some. I want our child to have their father.”

He blinked rapidly, clearly trying to fight off tears. “I will always have a target on my back no matter where I go. Snoke will have me killed and I’m sure there are many here who would like to see me suffer a tragic death for my crimes.”

“I know and we’ll deal with it together. Personally I think there is so much potential for you. You’re so strong. We need someone like you.”

“Someone like me?” He arched a brow.

“From what little your uncle explained to me before shutting me out, I know that there must always be balance in the Force and that through that balance no side can ever _win_. You understand the Dark Side, I underside the Light Side and… our child is equal parts of both.”

“The Dark Side is potent, Rey. I don’t want our child influenced… tempted the way Snoke tempted me.” He shuddered. “I don’t want our child to be anything like me.”

Rey pressed her lips to his cheek. So thankful that he was awake and talking to her again. She’d missed his voice more than she could put to words, more than she had any right to miss him. “You don’t want our child to be like Kylo Ren, but I want our child to be like Ben Solo and _maybe_ a little like Matt.” She laughed softly.

“Did you love Matt more?”

She frowned. “I might have. I knew him longer. We had all of a week to get to know each other before _someone_ sent me away.” Rey shook her head. “I didn’t love Kylo Ren. I love _Ben_.”

“Can they sentence Kylo Ren and let Ben Solo go free?” He suggested, turning to kiss her palm as she stroked his cheek.

“Now that’s a plan I like.” She brushed her thumb over his lips. “I should go tell your mother that you’re awake.”

“Don’t go yet.” He glared at the cuffs that laid discarded on the bed where she’d removed them from his wrists. “I don’t want to get locked up again. I’ve been locked up for _months_ … years if we want to delve deeper.”

“I’ll stay a little longer then. I don’t think anyone will mind if me telling them you’re awake is delayed.” Rey stifled a little yawn. “I haven’t really slept this week.”

“You should rest a little. I miss sleeping with you.”

Rey tilted her head to smile at him. He looks so young and there’s so much light and life in his eyes. “You enjoyed that didn’t you?”

“Considering I’d _never_ laid with a woman like that at all, yes, I enjoyed when you wanted to curl up on our days off.’ He held her a little tighter. “ _Rest_.”

There was no harm in sleeping with him. Sure, she’d probably get told off by the nurses and General Organa, but it was worth it. He was worth it even though none of this made sense. She shouldn’t have cared about him the way that she did, especially after everything he’d done that was unforgivable, but this man that held to her like his life depended upon it was different. _So_ different.

She would make everyone understand.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *taps mic* is anyone here with this fic after a year? Cause I am back and ready to finish this thing.

**Present**

“You have lost your mind.” General Organa said, folding her arms across her chest. “No one is going to believe there’s a difference between the two names, Rey. You should be focusing your efforts on the argument between life in prison and  _ death _ .”

Rey’s heart clenched at that. “They surely wouldn’t put him to death.  _ You _ could keep them from doing that. He’s your son.”

“Rey, you’re letting your head get clouded with your feelings for him. You know full well that considering the crimes he enacted with the First Order he  _ should _ be put to death.” She gave her a pointed look. “But the jury will decide that fate. Not you and not me.”

“General Organa, there has to be  _ something _ you can do. He’s going to be a father. Please don’t make our child grow up never knowing his or her father. That’s a burden I would never wish on another child.” Rey’s hand moved to her stomach, feeling their baby kicking. 

“And I’m certain there are hundreds of children in the galaxy that will never know their parents because of Kylo Ren.” Leia reminded her, turning her back to her as she busied herself with her datapad. 

“Ben isn’t Kylo Ren, General. He isn’t. When I look into his eyes I see the potential for good there.” Rey urged, stepping towards Leia. “ _ Please _ .”

“Ben Solo is  _ dead _ , Rey. He died the day that he killed his father. Whatever you think you see, it’s just a shadow.”

“In order for there to be a shadow, there has to be light.” Rey shook her head, “I’ll find a way to save him myself.” 

“We have guards posted outside of the medbay. I wouldn’t try anything.” General Organa warned her as she left. 

Rey knew better than to try  _ anything. _ She couldn’t risk hurting the baby and truth be told, Ben still wasn’t in any shape to execute a grand escape. 

“Good morning.” Rey said with a tight lipped smile as the guards let her into the medbay. They weren’t friendly with her and she knew why. Most of the base wasn’t friendly with her anymore. She knew they thought she was crazy -  _ hell _ , she knew she was crazy. 

“How’d it go with my mother?” Ben questioned as he lifted his head to look at her as she stepped into the room. Rey grimaced and shook her head. “That good, huh?” He sighed, sinking back onto the bed. 

“I didn’t really think it would work.” Rey admitted as she removed her cloak and draped it over one of the chairs. “Would you excuse us?” She said to the medical droid that was hovering close to his bed. 

“I have been instructed to remain in place to monitor the patient.”

Rey sighed. “Of course you have.” 

“Any attempts to remove the patient will be force me to raise the alarm.”

“Yeah, yeah. I get it.” Rey stepped past the droid, reaching out to take Ben’s hand. “How are you feeling?”

He shrugged a little. “Weak.” He admitted, squeezing her hand. “I don’t know what they’re keeping in my line but it’s good stuff.”

“It’s for pain.” Rey told him, though the droid popped up to correct her. 

“I was instructed to administer a mild sedative to keep the patient calm.”

Rey glared at the droid, “Why don’t you just call him a prisoner if you’re going to treat him like one.”

“He  _ is _ a prisoner, but I am a medical droid and I am programmed to refer to him as a patient.” 

Ben attempted to lift his hand, but his cuffs stopped him. “My nose is itchy.” 

“Let me,” Rey leaned over the bed to scratch his nose for him, her eyes searching his. “I’m sorry it’s this way. I wish it were different.”

“Me too.” Ben sighed, relaxing back against the mattress. “Hey, medical droid, are you going to raise the alarm if she lays on the bed with me?”

The droid tilted its head. “I would strongly suggest that she remain where she is.”

“And I would strongly suggest you pipe down.” Rey gritted out, turning her attention back to Ben. “I don’t really think this can work with your hands cuffed to the bed.” She frowned as she took his hand into hers, squeezing it tightly. 

“His hands must remain cuffed. Any attempt to remove the handcuffs  _ again _ will result in termination of your clearance to be in here.” 

Rey rolled her eyes, “I told you be quiet.” She snapped at the droid. 

Ben gave a weak laugh, “Yeah, I figured as much.” He laced their fingers together, “It probably won’t be very comfortable, but I think it’s possible.”

“You forget I’m heavily pregnant.” Rey reminded him. 

“I most assuredly have not forgotten that factor.” He gave a wary look to one of the monitors that was making a  _ whirring _ noise. “I think that’s the sedative.” 

Rey frowned, leaning over the bed to press a kiss to his forehead. “It’s probably for the best. You’re in a lot of pain and you need to rest.” She knew better, though. They were keeping him sedated so he couldn’t fight back. However, given how weak he was, she doubted he’d put up much of a fight. 

His eyes looked glassy, his lids drooping low. “What did my mother say?”

Rey rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand, “I’ll tell you later when you wake up.” She promised him. “I’ll be right here.”

He smiled at her a little, before he fell asleep, snoring softly. 

“Is there any chance we can get you to  _ stop _ administering the sedative?” Rey questioned the droid. 

“I’m afraid not.” 

“Of course.” Rey huffed as she moved to sink down in the chair across from Ben’s bed. She could feel him, reaching out through the Force to brush against her mind. 

_ I told you I would tell you what your mother said when you wake up.  _ Rey informed him tersely.  _ No need to pry for it. _

_ I wasn’t prying for that _ . 

Rey closed her eyes and she could see him in her mind’s eye. He was standing tall above her, far healthier looking than he actually was.  _ I don’t believe you _ . 

_ Fair. _ Ben chuckled, reaching out to touch her cheek  _ I just wanted to know if there was any hope _ . 

Rey shook her head and leaned into his touch.  _ Unfortunately, I do not believe your mother wants to save you. Not like I do.  _

_ I don’t blame her.  _ Ben’s shoulders pitched forward.  _ I still don’t know why you are.  _

Rey gestured to her stomach, though in this place her stomach wasn’t swollen with his child.  _ I think we both know why _ . 

_ Would you be so dedicated to saving me were you not? _ He questioned, settling his hands at her hips.

_ I don’t know _ . Rey admitted with a sigh, leaning forward to rest her forehead against his chest.  _ I hated you, but there was something about you that drew me in. Made me curious.  _

_ The Dark Side… _

_ Your eyes. _ Rey tilted her head to look up at him.  _ I see now that what I saw in Kylo Ren’s eyes was what I saw in Matt’s eyes. What made me want him. What makes me want you.  _ She lifted her hand to stroke his cheek, her thumb tracing over the scar she’d left on his face.  _ I’m going to find a way, Ben.  _ She took his hand and placed it on her stomach, even though it was flat.  _ Another generation of your family isn’t going to know heartbreak. _

Ben smiled at her, brushing his fingers over her stomach as he leaned down to press a kiss to her lips.  _ I love you _ . 

_ I know _ . Rey whispered, blinking as she was pulled out of that place where they both could be together. 

 

**The Past**

“Hey,” Kylo said gently as he stepped into the TIE Fighter with Rey, who was hunkered down working on some cables. 

“You’re late.” Rey said lightly as she stood up and moved towards him, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. “Where were you this morning?” 

“Sorry,” He rested his hand at her hip, “I had somewhere I had to be this morning, I didn’t mean to be gone when you woke up.” 

Her brows knit together, searching his eyes “Did you have a meeting with Uho?” 

The truth was that he’d had to report to Snoke. And he felt guilt about having to lie to her. Guilt was a new emotion, one he felt the longer his ruse as Matt continued. “ _ Yeah _ .” He’d make sure Uho said so too. But she wouldn’t ask because she trusted him. She trusted Matt. 

“I’ll have to talk to him about ruining our morning.” Rey said lightly, leaning up to kiss him again. “Are you okay Matt?”

“Just tired.” He confessed. “You kept me up all night and then I had to be up and acting sensibly.” He pressed his forehead to hers before he turned to start tinkering with the ship. 

“ _ Alright _ .” Rey laughed, shaking her head as she knelt down beside him, returning to her work on the cables. 

Snoke didn’t have the same hold on his mind now, not with Rey in his life. And he knew that  _ he _ knew that. That was why he’d been summoned so early. To test whether or not Kylo Ren would come when he was called, even when he had Rey wrapped around him. 

 

**Present**

Ben came awake with a gasp of pain as he felt the port in his hand being removed. “What the hell are you doing to me?” He gritted out as he glared at the medical droid’s expressionless face. 

“Replacing your ports. Protocol recommends that ports be replaced every seventy-two hours.”

“Can we cool it with the sedatives?” Ben questioned, though he already knew that the answer was going to be no. 

“Unfortunately not. I have been instructed to administer the sedative every-“

“Yeah, yeah. I get it.” Ben sighed, grimacing as the needle pierced his skin again. “Where did Rey go?”

“Your female companion retired to her own chambers I believe. The medical bay is no place for a female in her state.”

“Trust me, I know.” Ben sighed. “This is probably not in your  _ protocol  _ but could you please refrain from hooking up the IV until  _ after _ you call for General Organa to come here.” 

The droid turned to look at him. “Are you requesting that I call for General Organa?”

“Yeah. I am. I want to see my mother.”

“I’m afraid-“

“Just do it.” Ben pressed. 

The droid made a few teetering sounds, before he moved over to the com-panel and keyed in General Organa’s call code. “I have a bad feeling about this.”

“Me too.” Ben remarked with a humourless laugh. “But I want to see her.” He hadn’t expected that he would ever willingly  _ want _ to see his mother again. But everything had changed. 

* * *

“I was expecting to find Rey in here with you,” Leia said as she stepped into the medical bay. “She’s been so insistent about spending time with you.” 

“General Organa, I have not supplied the patient with this hour’s dose of sedatives under his request.”

She gave the droid a piercing look. “You can administer it when I’m through speaking with him. You’re excused.” The droid quickly skittered away. 

“See, when Rey does that, the droid doesn’t leave.” Ben tried to sit up, but was stopped by the cuffs. “I’m glad you came.”

“What do you want?” 

Ben sighed, “Rey told me it didn’t go well with you. I wasn’t surprised by the outcome. But she’s full of misplaced hope.” 

“I think that has something to do with her being pregnant.” Leia retorted, narrowing her eyes at him. “Why did you do this to her?”

“It was never meant to go this far. But once I started the ruse, I didn’t want to stop.” He leaned back against the pillow, “She made me feel alive. I didn’t know Snoke was orchestrating it all.”

“Hasn’t that always been the case?”

Ben arched a brow, “My descent was partially brought on by your brother’s attempt to kill me.”

Leia frowned, “Because your soul was filled with darkness. He was afraid of what he saw.”

“I  _ was _ afraid too!” He jerked upright, pulling at the cuffs that bound him. “I was just a child! I was being torn apart and instead of trying to help me, he would’ve seen me run through with his lightsaber.” 

“It was more complicated than that.” 

Ben glared at her, “No it wasn’t. It was as simple as a scared child waking up to his beloved uncle posing to murder him.” 

“That’s your side of the story.”

“It’s the  _ truth _ . And I’ll do whatever it takes to prove that.” Ben clenched his fists. “I didn’t  _ want _ to give into the Dark side, mother, but he gave me no choice!” 

“He said there was no light left in you then. You expect anyone to believe that you have any light in you no. After everything you’ve done.” Leia said lowly, turning her gaze away from him. 

“No, actually. I don’t expect anyone to believe anything. I don’t even know why Rey does.” Ben admitted, closing his eyes. “But she does. She sees something that even I can’t see anymore.” He blew out a shaky breath, “I just want to live long enough to see my child.”

“She’s how far along?” 

“Eight months.” 

Leia nodded, her lips pressed into a thin line. “I believe I can afford you one month.” She glanced at the monitors, “As it is, you’re not strong enough to stand trial.”

“Thank you.” 

“I’m doing this for Rey.”

“I know.” Ben lifted his gaze to his mother’s once more. “Can you please tell the droid to stop administering the sedative. I’d like to at least be cognisant during my time with her.” 

“Do you really love her?”

“I do.” Ben said with a small smile. “I didn’t know I could feel  _ love  _ until I met her.” 

“You look so much like your father.” Leia said with a shake of her head. “I’ll tell the medical droid not to continue with the the sedatives. If you so much as cause the slightest ounce of trouble, I will have the dose doubled.” 

“I’m not going to do anything that might inadvertently hurt Rey.”

“Unfortunately, getting her pregnant already did that.” Leia said crisply. 

“It was  _ never _ my intention.” Ben said with a beleaguered sigh. “I just wanted to enjoy the time I had with her. I have come to terms with the fact that I lied to her. I know that what I did was wrong. She and I have discussed this, mother.” 

“This line is cursed,” Leia said, her hands going to her hips. “It should’ve ended with you.”

“But it didn’t. The Force brought Rey and I together…”

“No,  _ Ben _ , Snoke brought you together.”

He closed his eyes, shaking his head. “No, you’re wrong. It would’ve happened regardless of him.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

“I will. Because it’s the truth. Rey believes it too.”

“Just because you believe something, doesn’t make it true. I believed for too many years that there was still hope in you.” And with that Leia excused herself, leaving him alone in the medbay. 

 

**Later**

“So, I hear you spoke with General Organa.” Rey said as she stepped closer to his bed. 

“Don’t get your hopes up.” He said with a shrug of his shoulders. “Though she offered me a month.”

“A month?”

“To delay my trial for a moment so that I can meet our child.” Ben met her eyes and frowned. “I know it’s not much time, but at least it’s something.”

Rey used the Force to bring a chair to his bedside, sitting down a huff. “It isn’t fair.” 

Ben squeezed her hand, “No, it’s not. But I  _ have _ committed crimes that I must pay for.” He said quietly. “I’m sorry I brought this upon you, Rey.”

“Yeah, so am I.” She leaned forward and kissed his hand. “But I don’t really regret it. It’s unfortunate, how it’s going to play out, but I don’t regret it.”

“Think you could get up here and join me?” 

“Our nosey droid isn’t here right now.” Rey said with an impish grin. “Did your mother do something with him?”

“I think she told him to get lost.” Ben chuckled, “I asked her to get him to stop with the sedatives. I just have to behave.” He made a face. “I don’t have much of a choice on that front.”

Rey carefully climbed into the bed with him, trying her best to navigate with her stomach and he cuffed hands. “This can’t be comfortable for you.”

“It’s not,” He admitted, shifting his arm so he could somewhat touch her, “But it’s worth it.” Ben tilted his head to kiss her brow. “Can’t you uncuff me again?”

Rey gave him a look. “ _ Ben _ .”

“It was just a suggestion.” He laughed. “I know better. Trust me. I know my mother. She would love to see me fail.”

“I don’t think she would love to see you fail.” Rey lifted her hand to cup his cheek, “She just refuses to see what I see in you.”

“I can’t see what you see in me either.” 

“But I do. Your mother has given us a month, but I believe we can have a lifetime.”

“You’d want to spend a lifetime with  _ me _ ?” He arched a brow and tilted his head to look at her. “ _ Really _ ?”

“Maybe.” Rey’s lashes fluttered. “Would you want to?”

“Yes.” Ben said without faltering. “You’ve shown me kindness I don’t deserve.”

“We’re going to figure this out.” Rey said resolutely, “Our child is going to grow up knowing two loving parents and they’re going to bring balance to the Force.”

Ben smiled at her, though his mother’s words echoed in his mind. Just because you believe in something, doesn’t make it true. 


End file.
